Sunday, March 30, 2008

Camp Camelot Part 1- Jump On It

I'm back! From camp!

Well, I could type about everything but I think I'll only type what I can remember.

First of all, I want to rant about CRC. CRC or Challenge Rope Course, as it is known as amongst its peers, is an interesting course of blah blah blah...

Actually, the CRC is a chamber built by demons to brainwash human offspring into not fearing heights with tiny nanobots built by dwarven scientists in the eighteenth century. When in the CRC, the chamber masters disguised as mere mortals, give out harnesses that inject the nanobots into your bloodstream and eventually into your bone marrow and brain and they also hand out helmets which also scan your brain for a change in your neurotransmitter signals which is a sign that the nanobots latched themselves into your cerebral cortex or more specifically, your occipital lobe and your cerebellum.

The time taken for the nanobots to latch themselves to your brain and start transmitting is about four minutes. That's why when you go for your CRC, the "trainers" make you do at least two "rope courses" or as they call it, test facilities. While you do the first one, the nanobots are working their way up your bone marrow. Then, you do your second rope course, the "trainers" check your brain activity to see if the nanobots have done their job. If you are still scared, they unleash a second dose of nanobots into your bloodstream. Then you go again.

Heh. Sorry about that, I couldn't help myself.

By the way, it's all fake. I lied about everything.*

So, in the CRC, I did one where you must climb up a five meter high pole, jump off and grab a trapeze(which is a horizontal pole hung from a higher pole.). The trainers all say:"Kay! All you need to do is climb up and grab that pole there! Okay! Lets go!"

Pfft. They say it as though it was that simple. the real experience is:

First, you have to climb up five meters on small little shaky bent pieces of metal scotch taped to the wooden pole in three seconds because those over-enthusiastic a$$h01e5 down on the floor are pulling the rope so fast you'll get dragged upwards.

Anyway, because of the awkwardly placed "steps", at the last step where you must step on the fifty-cent sized platform top, you'll be squatting like a frog, hand between your legs on the top of the pole and your legs all over the place.

Once your on top of the pole, you realise that the floor is uneven and the entire pole is shaking. It's at this point tha you realise that the trainer has been shouting at you the whole time but you only notice now as you have been trying to make yourself lighter so those paperclip steps do not break.

Okay, let's recap, now you've somehow managed to get on top of the pole. You're partially crouched because the pole is swaying. The trainer is screaming at you to straighten your legs and jump. The other people below you are tugging on the rope causing you to be more fearful.

...So, you are standing on the top of th pole, all the possible outcomes flashing through your mind. Then, suddenly, (about the time when the nanobots make it to your occipital lobe and start transmitting) you feel less scared and you jump.

Heh. I can't write anymore I'll continue later.


*Or did I?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Art-hur

Wow. It's sunday already? Time sure flies when you're watching...

GHEI PRONZZZ!

"Well, I brought the goods. Gots the cash?"
[takes out a briefcase]"Yeah..."
[looks through the briefcase]"where's the cash?!"
"I used it to buy the briefcase."

Hopefully a panel in the control comic.



Hulk smash.

I Heart Muscular Men Vemonous!
He's bringing sexy back
Hope ya'll like it

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pedophiles

Pedophiles.

Well, my school started chapter sex in science. On the first lesson, my teacher told us about this nine year old girl that got pregnant. Now, I know most people are like:" Awww, poor little girl..."

No. Strangely enough, the first thing that went through my mind was:" Who the hell would want to have sex with a nine year old girl?!...Unless of course, your dick is like, really really small..."

Anyway, have you ever noticed how annoying those people who start their engines and stay there are? You're in the carpark suffocating, and that guy is just sitting in his car, doing everything.

Like... taxes, breaking up with his girlfriend, making up with his girlfriend, having make up sex with his girlfriend, finding out his girlfriend is pregnent, freaking out about his girlfriend being pregnant and finally, finding out that his girlfriend is like, nine years old...

And when all that is happening, you're standing there, dying.

I think I'll post some sketches later today.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Yay. Number 20!

So, today I got hit in the eye. With a head.

I was playing basketball before school today with my friends. So, I was blocking this...guy, and when he spun around to do his "crazy yellow ninja spinning death attack move" to confuse the enemy(a.k.a me).His kinetically energized power head smashed into my face-eye.

And physically and emotionally traumatized my eye--FOR LIFE! Now, whenever I see a head, my eye gets petrified and starts squealing in a high-pitched voice: "Ahh! heeelp( pronounced he-ee-el-puh) meeee! I don't wanna get abused againzzz!!!"

Yeah.

True story.

GOODNIGHT!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Rain, rain go away...

...Wait, don't! Don't go away! I don't wanna die of drought! PLEASE! STAY!
secret wordz! ooOOoh!So, magikal-th!
Heh. Anyway, today it rained. Yeah. My school was flooded. Well, not flooded like "Oh-my-god-why-didn't-I-bring-my-scuba-gear-for-show-and -tell-today" flooded, but from an "oh-crap-my-shoes-are-swimming-pools-for-ants" kind of flooded to an "oh-wow-the-wrinkles-in-my-toes-look-like-mona-lisa" flood.

It's true! For some reason, the school board decided that it would be a great idea to make the school canteen the lowest part of the school. So, because of...well, umm...Gravity,all the water poured down and basically flooded the entire canteen up to my shoes. It sucks. Because everyone knows, it really sucks to try and eat with that squishing, sloshing(not sure if it's a real word or if it's used in this way) splattering sound coming from shoes, drains and socks. Or, maybe you didn't know that...huh. Well, now you do.

I also got suspended on the first day of school. Yeah. It appears that having hair in school is officially against the school rules. They suspended me(which I'm not sure is actually a bad thing...) until I went to get my hair cut. Yup. Now, when it rained, my scalp was cold! I could've gotten brain freeze!

Well, that's all I got...

P.S. No female potato chips were sexually abused in the making of this rainbow mustache.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Now, there is a fire in me...

A fire that burns!
This fire is outta control, it's gonna burn this city!
Burn this city!
If no one has noticed, I am sick again! Yay. Just what I need for the March holidays, lying around burning. The interesting part of being sick this time is that it's like exactly the same sickness as the last time.


Which sucks.


It's like my sickness got brought back by rain(which I think was acid rain). And turned my sickness into an undead zombie sickness FROM DA DEAD! Like the last time I was sick, there are also plenty of bad things about this.


Like, for example, at night, I have to take a pill the size of Texas and no, not take the pill, stuff it up my Then after stuffing that Death Star of a pill intofor like, 3 times, I find out that it doesn't work for my sickness...

Then, I now have to take three pills like size of the Taj Mahal and it's just sick...oh man, I think my fever is affecting my ability to type... I'm gonna stop now...

Sunday, March 2, 2008

B-day...woooo...

It's my birthday tomorrow...yay, more responsibilities.

Anyway, these are my presents.woooo...

First, I got a new tablet that's...huge.
The pen(is in my hand).
A whole new hopscotch.(sorry the picture is a little blurry)
Hopscotch the book.
My new left foot.(the white-er part.)
The first picture I drew with my new uber tablet.
heh. the first pic I drew is a nude guy...