Hi, would you like donate? Thank you.

Now, try saying that 400 times to people who either ignore you or run from you as though you have SARS or something...while standing up.

Seriously. Most Singaporeans are so selfish.

Well, on with the post. When you are collecting money and/or giving out stickers, you realize that there are about 7 types of people in Singapore. The assholes, the ignoramus(seses-sses), the super donators, the virus-fearful, the "must-I?"s, the black hands and the apologetic.

Lets start with the assholes. I met like nine of them. You know that they're assholes when this happens. Okay, lets set the image. You are the can...holder person... and you see a guy walking towards you. You approach him and ask whether he has any spare change. He reaches into his pocket(by the way, I'm using "he" because every asshole I met was a dude.) and you hear a lot and I mean, A LOT of coins jingle around in his pocket. It's like he just robbed an army of hobos or something. Anyway, you obviously hear the coins and get all excited right? Then he looks up and goes: " No coins leh.." And walks off.

Then, there's a super-asshole. This guy, when I approached him, said no coins and rushed off. Then, when I said "Okay, Thanks anyway.", he got onto the escalator(I was standing outside an MRT station),stuck his hand in his pocket, shook some coins around, turned back, and smiled.

Yeah I know. What an asshole right?

Okay, next there are the people who pretend you do not exist. When you approach them, they just turn around and talk to their buddy, or walk straight on forward. There was this one guy who just pushed me aside when I got near him. Jerk-off...


Then, there are those very nice Singaporeans who donate like 412 times. A minute. It's these kind of people that make me happy. There was this old lady who walked past me like 4 times and donated every time. She had a lot of stickers.

There are also those people who, the moment they see you, either turn around, quicken their step or just run off. Seriously. There are people who ran. From me. And when they run off, they stick up their hands as though I'm about to shoot them. Every time someone does that to me, I always spin around to check if like Satan was behind me or something.

Next up, the people I like to call, the "must-I?"s. These people still donate. But when they donate or when you approach them, they give you that look like... "Aww...must I? I really don't want to. Please don't make me do chores..." These people shouldn't even donate if they don't want to. No, wait. Then I'd have to stand there longer.

Also, there the people who stick their hands in your face to stop you. It's as though they think they have the force or something. They're like "SHIIWEAOO!!' and expect you to fly away or something.

Lastly, there are the apologetic people. You know those people. You know, when you get near them they just keep saying sorry non-stop until they're like 200 meters away from you. I feel like when I get near them, and they start saying sorry, I feel like I broke them or something. I'm like "Woah. I didn't touch him! It's not my fault! It broke on it's own!"

Pedophiles

Pedophiles.

Well, my school started chapter sex in science. On the first lesson, my teacher told us about this nine year old girl that got pregnant. Now, I know most people are like:" Awww, poor little girl..."

No. Strangely enough, the first thing that went through my mind was:" Who the hell would want to have sex with a nine year old girl?!...Unless of course, your dick is like, really really small..."

Anyway, have you ever noticed how annoying those people who start their engines and stay there are? You're in the carpark suffocating, and that guy is just sitting in his car, doing everything.

Like... taxes, breaking up with his girlfriend, making up with his girlfriend, having make up sex with his girlfriend, finding out his girlfriend is pregnent, freaking out about his girlfriend being pregnant and finally, finding out that his girlfriend is like, nine years old...

And when all that is happening, you're standing there, dying.

I think I'll post some sketches later today.